One-Sided Efforts

There’s a kind of pain that doesn’t leave bruises.
A pain so silent, it eats away your soul quietly while you keep smiling in front of the world.
That’s the pain of one-sided efforts in a relationship.
A place where only you try… only you give… and only you care.

I’ve lived this. Not in poetry or in fiction, but in my real life — raw and unfiltered.

I met someone.
We were friends. Then, we became best friends — or at least, I thought we did.

I never lied to him. I gave him the kind of friendship people pray for — honest, loyal, all-consuming.
He said he felt insecure when I had other friends. So I gave up everyone else — literally everyone.
I made him my whole world.

When he needed something, I emptied my savings to get it for him. When he was alone, I stayed up all night just to make sure he didn’t feel lonely.
When life threw storms at him, I became his shelter, even if it meant walking through my own rain barefoot.

I never expected grand gestures in return. Just effort. Just truth. Just a little care.
But he never tried.
And I convinced myself that love means sacrifice — that giving was enough.
I thought maybe, someday, he’d see my worth.

But what he saw… was convenience.

He made rules that only I had to follow. He had friends. He had a relationship — a secret one he kept from me for two years.
But I wasn’t allowed even a text from another friend.
He lied. He talked behind my back.
He never saw me as a friend, just as someone he could use — emotionally, financially, and mentally.

And one day, like I was nothing, he said:

“You’re just a burden to me. I never wanted you.”
“Go.”

The weight of those words crushed something inside me.
I cried in silence. I broke. I lost myself.

But then... I left.

And something magical happened.

For the first time in years, I slept peacefully.
I didn’t stay up for someone who wouldn’t have blinked if I disappeared.
I started saving — not for someone else, but for myself.
I looked in the mirror and saw someone worth loving — me.

I realized that love is not about giving until there’s nothing left of you.
Love is balance. Effort. Respect. Truth.
If you’re the only one trying, it's not a relationship — it’s emotional labour.

How It Feels When It’s One-Sided

One-sided effort doesn’t just exhaust you — it slowly erases you.

• You begin to question your own value, wondering if you’re not enough.

• You feel guilty for expecting the bare minimum.

• You hold onto hope, thinking one day they’ll realize your worth.

• You fear letting go — because you’ve built your entire emotional world around them.

But deep down, you know:

You were holding up something they never cared to carry with you.

It’s Not Just About Love

This experience can happen anywhere:

• That one-sided friendship where you're always the one who calls, listens, shows up.

• A family dynamic where your emotions are invalidated, but their needs are constantly prioritized.

• Even a workplace, where your efforts are invisible unless something goes wrong.

One-sidedness isn’t limited to romantic love — it’s the imbalance of emotional responsibility, no matter where it occurs.

How to Let Go – Even When You Still Care

Letting go doesn’t mean your love was fake.
It means you finally realized your love deserves to be returned.Here’s how to start:

1. Accept reality, not illusions
   Stop waiting for them to change. If they cared, they wouldn’t have made you feel this way to begin with.

2. Grieve the fantasy
   You’re not just letting go of a person, but of everything you imagined it could be.

3. Cut contact, if needed
   This isn’t cruel. It’s survival. Healing starts where their noise ends.

4. Start choosing yourself
   Reconnect with things you abandoned — old friends, hobbies, parts of yourself you left behind.

5. Reclaim your energy
   The sleepless nights? Done. The endless giving? Over. Save your energy for someone who gives back — even if that someone is you.

How to Heal – Slowly, Gently, Truly

Healing isn’t linear. Some days you’ll be okay. Other days you’ll miss them. That’s normal.

But healing begins with small steps:

• Write it out – Journal your thoughts without judgment.

• Create space – Physical and emotional space helps rebuild identity.

• Surround yourself with people who see you – Not who drain you.

• Be patient – You spent time losing yourself. You deserve time to find yourself again.

You Deserve More

Now? I no longer chase.
I no longer beg.
I don’t lie awake hoping someone will care.
I care for myself. I love who I’m becoming.

So if you’re stuck in a one-sided relationship of any kind —
Remember this:

• You’re not being dramatic.

• You’re not asking for too much.

• You’re just giving to someone who’s never going to give back.

And that’s not your fault —
But it is your responsibility to choose better.

Final Words

You’re not too much.
You’re not unlovable.
You’re not broken.

You’re just someone who loved deeply.
And now — it’s time to love yourself deeper.

Pull back. Let go. Reclaim your peace.
Because the one relationship that should never be one-sided…
Is the one you have with yourself.